When we speak to one another attempting to cultivate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self control. This has everything to do with the fruit of the Spirit. Abuse is abhorrent, but you had an opportunity to lovingly, with gentleness bring answers to his questions in a way that could still lead away from abuse. There was plenty of substance in my response. What was my example missing? Saccharine is sweet with no substance. If you think that shame has ANY place in how we build each other, then you’ve missed the whole point of living in community with one another. This man asked a perfectly innocent question, and you, through your tone, attempted to bring shame into the answer. (Also, we don't know that either one is a virgin, just that he doesn't fully understand menstruation and what her thoughts on it are if the timing is unfortunate.) he's definitely not ready for marriage and probably still wouldn't listen either way. If in order to recieve instruction he needs his ego gently stroked and the words delicately delivered. And if they are to have an excellent marriage, it is far better to realize that going in than to discover it after years of tension and unhealthy coping mechanisms are cemented in place. He needs to wake up from that and realize that they are two completely different people who think and feel and respond differently. And I am not gruff for the sake of being mean-spirited but intentional that the message might get across: Her experience was lagging behind his own concerns and desires. Teenagers and young people starve to hear poignant and meaningful instruction, especially regarding relationships and sexuality. but it's not as helpful as you might think. If you believe that Jesus spoke the Truth in love, and you know exactly what words He spoke, then you know what you're asking for has nothing to do with charity and everything to do with your own sensibilities. I don’t have any resources off the top of my head, but sim sure someone else can come up with something helpful!ĭo you have any idea how many people get hurt and/or youth walk away from Christianity because no one will be real with them? Choosing instead to soft-pedal and focus on saccharine style over necessary instruction? How many abused and broken people, whose suffering could have been avoided, that I've personally met and counciled? Let alone all of those who converge here? It would be worth looking into some other resources to learn more about her physiology and anatomy. Though you haven’t had to deal with periods, she’s an old pro. One thing that will come in handy a set of thick, dark-colored towels that are machine-washable. Especially because it is something she can’t control, that’s something we all want to avoid. I’ve heard stories of men who were stressed out or even annoyed if such a thing happened on the wedding night, which leads to the new wife feeling awful. She might be able to predict that now, but also maybe not. Here’s a rewording that comes off much gentler: You’re right, he could use a book reco or some other resources, but how about approaching it with more kindness. Approach him with a bit more love and charity and understanding rather than harsh accusations. Dude is clearly a virgin trying to figure out sex in a healthy way, but talking to other Christians about it.
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